Change

I asked a patient this afternoon what flavor of prophy paste she wanted me to polish her teeth with. You would be surprised at the variety of flavors offered: bubble gum, cherry, orange, root beer, cookie dough, mint, cinnamon. After reciting the memorized list that I repeat daily she decided to go with plain mint because the though of having her teeth polished with bubble gum or cookie dough paste was disgusting to her. My next patient was a little kid who excitedly chose bubble gum and I could tell that getting his teeth polished with bubble gum paste was the highlight of his day.

I remember being little and just like my patient I loved bubble gum paste. I remember loving to dress up in my mom's high heel shoes and having her put lipstick on my 5 year old lips. I remember sitting with Ashley at the Jr. High after school eating a whole bag of Cool Ranch Doritos because we could eat whatever we wanted and not have it effect us at all. My little sisters use to drive me crazy and I always wanted them to leave me alone. Staying up all night on the weekends was a routine thing to do. I also remember thinking about my wedding day and wondering what kind of person I would marry. Now everything has changed.

I wear high heels everyday day of the week...rain, snow, or shine. I could choose to wear lipstick if I wanted but it's really not my style. My little sisters are now truly my best friends. I feel the effects of all those bags of Doritos we ate more than ever and I can't even stay up past 10:00 p.m. Now I don't have to sit and daydream about my wedding day because it's come and gone. It was everything I'd dreamed it would be. I wish I could relive it on a daily basis. And the person I married is the most amazing person on the planet.

I am starting to understand that as the years go by we change. It's inevitable. The scary thing is that change happens all the time, but most of the time we don't even realize it. Maybe because we are too busy to realize...or maybe because we are scared to grasp the change. I personally hate change. The hardest change for me has been growing up. Some of the experiences I've had are almost embarrassing. I remember my very first day of college I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't even function properly. I missed my first couple classes because I had to call my dad and have him come give me a blessing. I was a mess. I also remember when I moved out of my house and up to the Ridge. I was 20 years old and honestly it's only 2 miles from my parents house but I cried and cried because I had to leave home...ridiculous right? It's funny to look back on those experiences and see all the things I learned from those changes.

Before Tyler left on his mission he told me that it wasn't a matter of if I was married or not when he got home, it was a matter of if I had changed or not. He was going to change for the better the whole 2 years...I better be trying to improve myself too. Apparently I changed a little or else we probably wouldn't be married now. I find myself continually trying to live by this....trying to be a better person for him and others around me. Let me tell you, it takes a whole lot of change. I am astonishingly good at being human and I make more mistakes than you can count everyday but I TRY constantly to fix those mistakes and change.

I guess what I am trying to say is that change can be hard. It's not fun to look back on some changes. Other changes are the best things that happen in life. Either way it's important to realize change in your life, see what you can learn from it, fix it if you need to, and be grateful for it because it makes us who we are....now all I need to do is take some of my own advice:)

I found these pictures that were taken of Ty and I in 10th grade...

Hopefully we have "changed" a little since then!